Safe and Savvy; Safety Tips For Women

My father taught us safety awareness at a very early age and increased our knowledge appropriately as we got older. Dad was a police officer and all too aware of the potential dangers in the world so he did what he could to keep us out of harm’s way when we were out of his reach. Back then, children typically walked to and from school, sports practice and dance or music lessons and spent hours away from home with endless childhood activities. There were rules, however, and they were not negotiable. One of my dad’s favorite was The Buddy System; never go anywhere without a friend. If for some reason, your friend was not available, another friend, sibling or parent would be assigned to escort you to/from your destination. No exceptions. Just before I began Kindergarten, my father mapped out a route and walked it with me, pointing out neighbors that we knew (often homes of other policemen) and safe places to go in case of emergency (police station, fire station). He favored busy, main streets and changing course was not an option. Dad taught us to never talk to strangers and if one approached, we were to run to the nearest safe house. One day, I was walking home with a friend when a station wagon pulled up and some men got out with balloons and offered them to us. I ran away screaming while my friend stayed for the freebies. Luckily, it turned out to be a local politician doling out campaign swag, but I was glad that I erred on the side of caution, which is my personal credo to this day. Dad also taught us some self-defense moves, the importance of being aware of our surroundings and following our instincts. Predators look for the most vulnerable, so do whatever you can so as not to appear as a potential victim.

As a single woman living alone, I find that my Dad’s rules still apply and I offer the following strategies to others like me.

Handbag/Wallet – Women tend to carry their lives in their purses and it can be a huge inconvenience and potentially dangerous if someone gets their hands on your bag. Do not carry all of your credit cards at once. Keep your cell phone in your pocket in case you are robbed, then at least you can call/text for help. If you’re still writing checks, STOP and get a debit card. No one needs to carry a checkbook these days and providing a thief with all of the information that is typically on a check can translate to identity theft. If your driver’s license has your Social Security number on it, find out if you can have a random number assigned instead. In Massachusetts, we’ve had that option for many years and it helps to protect this vital information. Bottom line; MINIMIZE what you carry whenever possible.

Post Office Box – I highly recommend getting a PO Box for a number of reasons. First, it makes it harder for people/stalkers to track you down and allows you more privacy when you have to provide an address and you really don’t want to (resumes posted online, sweepstakes, contests, etc.). If you have a mailbox that is accessible by the public or nosy neighbors, you certainly don’t want things like financial statements or medical documents sitting unguarded. The United States Postal Service offers very affordable rates (vary by region/city/zip code) and it can really give you piece of mind. Of course, whenever possible, go paperless and access everything via secure internet connections. I also like the fact that the post office has recycle bins for all of that junk mail. Is your information here?

Out and About – Follow Dad’s Rules; walk with a buddy, travel safe, well-lit, heavily trafficked streets even if it means walking a little out of your way, identify safe houses/places, be aware of your surroundings (no headphones). Also, walk with confidence in shoes that you can run in if necessary (leave the platforms & stilettos at home or in the workplace), keep your cell phone in your pocket (see Handbag/Wallet for details). Go to your nearest police station and inquire about obtaining pepper spray/Mace. In Massachusetts, a “Firearms Identification Card Restricted” is required to carry this device. Keep it in your pocket at the ready (safety off) when your instincts tell you that you might be at risk. If someone is aggressively trying to offer you something (a ride, carry your bags, etc.) and you don’t want it, remember that “No.” is a complete sentence. As women, most of us have been taught to be polite, but sometimes it’s best not to be.

Home – If you’re a renter or you’ve just purchased a new home, I suggest changing the locks due to the fact that you don’t know how many people have had keys made; former tenants, laborers, cleaning staff, realtors, dog-walkers and the list goes on. Whatever it may cost is worth being able to sleep soundly at night. If that’s not an option, add a new deadbolt and use it consistently. Make sure the entrance to the house from the garage (if you have one) is locked at all times. Check window accessibility and be wary of sliding and French exterior doors. If you’re a city dweller and live in close proximity to others, close your shades/blinds/curtains at night in every room. Don’t hesitate to call the police if something or someone looks suspect. Part of their job is prevention of crime and investigation of leads, so let them do their work. It could save a life.

Online Dating – I have done my share of online dating and luckily, I have no horror stories. This has not been the case for some other women I know. Unless you’ve been able to confirm his basic information or you’ve done a background check, don’t give out too much personal information. Don’t give out your last name prior to or on your first date. You really don’t know anything concrete about this person and there are those who lie. Don’t tell him where you live and don’t let him pick you up or drive you home after the date. Make sure to inform a friend or family member of your exact location via call or text during the date. Plan a check-in time with that person for when the date ends and you’ve parted ways. I always ask my friends to text me when they get home (after any get-together) so that I know they’re safe. Any man who seems bothered by these precautions may not have your best interests in mind, so be leery.

Lest you think that I’m living a fearful, paranoid existence, be assured that I am not. The truth is, I can relax due to the fact that I am cautious, confident and prepared and I wish the same for all of you.